Excerpt – Sexy Humor

16 Shades of Lesbian Love
From the story

“Apartment 3B: Human Female Pon Farr”


“Since when does Seven-of-Nine handcuff Janeway to anything? Janeway is the top.”

Tate ran a hand over her foam-molded front. “Dream on!”

“She’s the captain. By definition.” Jax tossed her red hair for emphasis.

“Well, she can’t be in control all the time.”

“Pardon me, but a starship captain can be a top one hundred and fifty percent of the time. They have special training.”

Tate, who’d already put on her Star Fleet regulation boots, reached for one of Jax’s wrists. “Okay, consider this training. Just in case dear Captain Janeway should find herself captured by Seven-of-Nine clones with a bed-shaped tractor beam.”

Various parts of Jax’s body were delivering status reports. (litoris: hard and aroused, Captain. (unt: swollen and wet, Captain. Nipples: erect and playful, Captain.

“Captain Janeway, I think you ought to get out of that uniform. I don’t want you pulling rank on me.” Tate positively scampered to the bathroom. In moments lube and towels were next to the bed.

After stripping without ceremony, Jax spread herself on the bed and grasped the middle bar of the headboard. “Is this where you want me?”

“All the time. Why don’t you hold on right there and let me…climb…no wait—”

“Ouch! That’s my arm.” Jax scooted to one side.

“Sorry, honey. I didn’t realize the chain was so short, yeah, your hands need to be right there. So, okay.” Tate grinned down at her.

Tate’s crotch was only a few inches from her face and Jax lunged up to taste. She didn’t struggle as Tate ratcheted a cuff around her left wrist.

“Stop that,” Tate said.

“Make me.” Jax forced her hot breath through the fabric just to feel Tate shiver. She enjoyed the sight of Tate all flushed and momentarily overcome. She shifted in place, trying to find a more comfortable position for her arms and was glad when Tate got off her chest.

Licking her lips, Jax asked, “Who just assimilated who?”

“Oh, you are asking for it.”

“Asking for what?”

Tate’s gaze was both playful and desirous. “My strapping on an implant and giving you what you deserve.”

Jax couldn’t help the way her legs spread farther apart. “I surrender, I surrender completely.”

Tate shinnied down Jax’s body, enjoying her skin against Jax’s stomach.

Jax shifted again and even though she didn’t want to stop Tate, her arms were abruptly too tight. “Honey, I’m sorry, but my thumbs are going numb.”

“Oh? How weird.”

“I think…this is totally hot, but they’re really digging in. Maybe if they weren’t around the headboard?”

Tate rummaged in the bedside table drawer, then went into the bathroom. “Have you seen the key?”

“What key?” Alarmed, Jax added, “I didn’t even know you had these until twenty minutes ago.”

“I thought I put it in the drawer, but I don’t see it.”

“Oh fuck. Find the damn key, Tate.” Trying not to curse further, Jax watched helplessly as Tate searched. Helplessness was not her best thing—sex was about the only time she’d even pretend.

“I’m so sorry. I put it in the drawer, I know I did.” She emptied the contents of the drawer onto the floor. “There is no key here.”

“Across the hall,” Jax said desperately. “Jonny must have a key.”

Tate gave her a hopeful glance. “You’re right.”

“God, I hope she’s there.”

Tate snatched up her robe. “Me too.”

The apartment was very quiet while Tate was gone. Jax tried not to pull at the cuffs, but it was getting increasingly uncomfortable. How did anyone stand this for more than a few minutes? She couldn’t feel her thumbs at all now.

The door opened again and Tate rushed over. “I got it, I got it.”

Jax waited for blessed release, but it didn’t happen.

“I don’t got it,” Tate said. She scurried out of the room again.

After another two minutes, Jax heard Tate returning. To her mortification, Jonny was with her.

“Hi, Jax.” Jonny, her face framed by her spiky black hair, was openly grinning.

Jax knew she was vividly red. “It’s not really funny.”

“Yeah, it is. Later you’ll think so.”

Tate, about sixty seconds too late, covered Jax with her own robe.


Minor edits have been made to maintain a PG-13 rating for the Web.

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